In "Unconditional Parenting," Alfie Kohn challenges traditional discipline methods, advocating instead for a parenting style rooted in compassion and understanding. He argues that unconditional love is the key to fostering responsible, empathetic children who are motivated from within, rather than by rewards or punishments. Kohn explores the detrimental effects of conditional parenting, where affection is tied to behavior, and offers practical strategies for nurturing a more profound connection with your child. Through engaging anecdotes and thought-provoking insights, he invites parents to rethink their approach and prioritize genuine relationship-building. Discover how to raise confident, caring individuals by letting go of control and embracing unconditional support.
By Alfie Kohn
Published: 2006
"Punishment is not a solution; it’s a symptom of a problem."
A groundbreaking approach to parenting by nationally-respected educator Alfie Kohn that gives parents “powerful alternatives to help children become their most caring, responsible selves” (Adele Faber, New York Times bestselling author) by switching the dynamic from doing things to children to working with them in order to understand their needs and how to meet them. Most parenting guides begin with the question “How can we get kids to do what they're told?” and then proceed to offer various techniques for controlling them. In this truly groundbreaking book, nationally respected educator Alfie Kohn begins instead by asking, “What do kids need—and how can we meet those needs?” What follows from that question are ideas for working with children rather than doing things to them. One basic need all children have, Kohn argues, is to be loved unconditionally, to know that they will be accepted even if they screw up or fall short. Yet conventional approaches to parenting such as punishments (including “time-outs”), rewards (including positive reinforcement), and other forms of control teach children that they are loved only when they please us or impress us. Kohn cites a body of powerful, and largely unknown, research detailing the damage caused by leading children to believe they must earn our approval. That's precisely the message children derive from common discipline techniques, even though it's not the message most parents intend to send. More than just another book about discipline, though, Unconditional Parenting addresses the ways parents think about, feel about, and act with their children. It invites them to question their most basic assumptions about raising kids while offering a wealth of practical strategies for shifting from “doing to” to “working with” parenting—including how to replace praise with the unconditional support that children need to grow into healthy, caring, responsible people. This is an eye-opening, paradigm-shattering book that will reconnect readers to their own best instincts and inspire them to become better parents.
Showing 8 of 30 similar books
Lori Gottlieb is a psychotherapist, bestselling author, and columnist known for her book Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, which offers an insightful and personal look into the world of therapy from both the therapist and client perspectives. Gottlieb’s writing is praised for its humor, depth, and vulnerability as she explores themes of self-discovery, healing, and human connection. She also writes the “Dear Therapist” column for The Atlantic, offering advice rooted in her clinical experience. Lori’s work continues to bridge the gap between therapy and the general public, making mental health more accessible.
Ana Lorena Fabrega is an innovative educator and author passionate about reimagining education. Known as “Ms. Fab,” she is the Chief Evangelist at Synthesis, an education startup inspired by the problem-solving and collaboration model used at SpaceX. She advocates for alternative learning methods, encouraging curiosity and creativity in students. Ana's work emphasizes the importance of engaging young learners in real-world challenges and critical thinking. She also shares insights on education reform through her popular newsletter, Fab Fridays.
Shonda Rhimes is an American television producer, screenwriter, and author, best known for creating hit shows like Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal, and How to Get Away with Murder. As one of the most powerful women in Hollywood, Rhimes has redefined the television landscape with her diverse storytelling and strong female characters. She has built an empire under her production company, Shondaland, and signed a groundbreaking deal with Netflix to produce exclusive content. Rhimes is also an advocate for diversity and inclusion in the entertainment industry, using her platform to push for greater representation on screen and behind the scenes.
Dr. Harvey Karp is a renowned pediatrician and child development expert, best known for his groundbreaking method for calming infants, as detailed in The Happiest Baby on the Block. He is the creator of the SNOO Smart Sleeper, a robotic crib designed to help babies sleep safely and soundly. Dr. Karp has been a leading voice in pediatric health for decades, emphasizing the importance of sleep for both babies and parents. His methods have revolutionized infant care and parenting techniques. He continues to advocate for improved early childhood development practices.
Daniel Ek is a Swedish entrepreneur and co-founder of Spotify, the world’s leading music streaming platform. Ek revolutionized the music industry by offering a legal, user-friendly alternative to piracy, and Spotify has since become the dominant player in the streaming market. Under his leadership, Spotify has expanded globally, offering access to millions of songs and podcasts while reshaping how artists distribute their work. Ek is known for his forward-thinking approach to technology and his commitment to evolving Spotify’s platform for both users and creators. He continues to lead Spotify as it explores new innovations in audio entertainment.
Brené Brown is a research professor, author, and public speaker known for her work on vulnerability, shame, and leadership. Her TED Talk, The Power of Vulnerability, has garnered millions of views, and her bestselling books, including Daring Greatly and Rising Strong, explore how embracing vulnerability can lead to personal and professional transformation. Brown’s research has had a profound impact on conversations around leadership, empathy, and emotional intelligence. She continues to advocate for the importance of courage and connection in both personal development and organizational culture.
Whitney Cummings is an accomplished comedian, actress, and writer, best known for her sharp wit and incisive humor. She co-created and co-wrote the hit TV series "2 Broke Girls," which enjoyed a successful six-season run. Cummings has also authored the critically acclaimed book "I'm Fine...And Other Lies," a candid memoir that delves into her personal struggles and triumphs. Her work often explores themes of relationships, self-awareness, and mental health, resonating with a wide audience. Additionally, she has made significant contributions to stand-up comedy, with several popular specials showcasing her unique comedic voice.
Jessica Biel is an accomplished actress and producer, best known for her work in television and film rather than literature. Rising to fame with her role as Mary Camden on the long-running family drama "7th Heaven," Biel has since demonstrated her versatility in a variety of genres, from romantic comedies to intense thrillers. Her work behind the scenes as a producer, particularly on the critically acclaimed series "The Sinner," has solidified her status as a multifaceted talent in the entertainment industry. Although not a literary figure, Biel's contributions to storytelling through her acting and production efforts have earned her numerous accolades and a respected place in Hollywood. Her dedication to her craft continues to influence and inspire both audiences and aspiring entertainers alike.
Showing 8 of 15 related collections
“Punishment is not a solution; it’s a symptom of a problem.”
Unconditional Parenting
By Alfie Kohn
Discover a world of knowledge through our extensive collection of book summaries.
Alfie Kohn is an influential author and speaker known for his work in the fields of education, psychology, and parenting. He has written more than a dozen books, including "Punished by Rewards" and "The Schools Our Children Deserve," which challenge conventional approaches to motivation and learning. Kohn advocates for more progressive teaching methods that prioritize critical thinking, intrinsic motivation, and collaboration over standardized testing and competition. His writings have been featured in various publications, and he frequently speaks at conferences and workshops across the globe. With a deep commitment to fostering a more humane and equitable society, Kohn continues to inspire educators and parents to rethink traditional practices in education and parenting.
Key information about the book.
Support local bookstores: BookShop gives a portion of each sale to independent bookshops!
Baby 411 is the ultimate guide for new parents navigating the often overwhelming world of infant care. Packed with evidence-based advice and practical tips, it addresses everything from sleep schedules to feeding dilemmas with clarity and humor. The authors, pediatricians themselves, break down complex medical information into easily digestible insights that empower parents to make informed decisions. With its no-nonsense approach, "Baby 411" debunks common myths while ensuring that you feel supported on your parenting journey. Are you ready to unlock the secrets to a happy and healthy baby?
In "Bringing Up Bébé," Pamela Druckerman offers a fresh perspective on parenting through her experiences as an American mother in France. She contrasts the relaxed yet effective French childcare methods with the often frantic American approach, revealing secrets to raising well-behaved, independent children. With charming anecdotes and insightful observations, Druckerman explores how cultural differences shape family dynamics and child development. As she navigates her own challenges as a parent abroad, readers are invited to question their preconceived notions of parenting success. Are the French truly onto something, or is it simply a matter of perspective?
In "Simplicity Parenting," Kim John Payne and Lisa M. Ross unveil a transformative approach to child-rearing that champions a more serene, nurturing family life. They argue that modern parenting often overwhelms children with excess and chaos, leading to anxiety and discontent. By embracing simplicity in four key areas—environment, routines, schedules, and communication—parents can foster resilience and joy in their little ones. Through insightful anecdotes and practical strategies, the authors illuminate how a less cluttered life can enhance emotional well-being. Dive in to discover how the beauty of simplicity can reshape your family's dynamics and cultivate happier, more fulfilled kids.
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child is an essential parenting guide that equips parents with the knowledge to nurture their little ones from infancy through age five. This comprehensive resource combines expert advice with practical tips, addressing everything from developmental milestones to health concerns. With a focus on fostering a secure and loving environment, it delves into the nuances of baby care, sleep routines, and early childhood education. Each chapter reveals insights that empower parents to make informed decisions for their child's well-being. Discover the secrets to raising a happy, healthy child—are you ready to embark on this transformative journey?
In "Cribsheet," econometrician Emily Oster transforms parenting myths into data-driven insights, offering a fresh perspective on the choices new parents face. With her signature blend of humor and rigorous research, she tackles debates around breastfeeding, sleep training, and vaccinations, urging parents to trust their instincts backed by evidence. Oster debunks popular parenting advice, revealing how various paths can lead to happy, healthy children. It's an empowering guide that encourages parents to embrace the ambiguity and complexity of raising kids. Are you ready to rethink what you know about parenting and discover evidence-based strategies that might surprise you?
In "All Joy and No Fun," Jennifer Senior delves into the complexities of modern parenthood, revealing how the experience reshapes not only children but also the lives of parents. With a blend of research and personal anecdotes, she exposes the everyday challenges and unexpected joys that come with raising kids. Senior asks poignant questions about happiness and fulfillment, challenging societal norms regarding parenting's purpose. As she navigates the delicate balance of joy and sacrifice, she uncovers the transformative power of this pivotal life stage. Discover the profound insights that will make you rethink what it truly means to be a parent in today's world.
In "The Gentle Parenting Book," parenting expert Sarah Ockwell-Smith challenges traditional discipline methods with a compassionate, child-centered approach. She explores the science behind gentle parenting, emphasizing emotional connection and understanding over punishment. With practical strategies and real-life examples, the book guides parents through everyday challenges, advocating for patience and empathy. Discover how to foster resilience and confidence in your child while nurturing a harmonious family dynamic. Are you ready to redefine your parenting style and unlock the secrets to a more peaceful home?
In "The Science of Parenting," leading researchers intertwine the latest findings in psychology and neuroscience to revolutionize our understanding of child-rearing. Explore the powerful impact of early experiences on a child's brain development and emotional well-being. Discover practical strategies backed by science that can transform everyday parenting challenges into growth opportunities. From fostering resilience to nurturing creativity, this book empowers parents to unlock their child's full potential. Are you ready to rethink your parenting approach and embrace the science that can guide you along the journey?